i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
