I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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