His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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