Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
