When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My vagina is very pro this idea
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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