Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
