I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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