You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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