Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
tell me about the eggs
Randomize