just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
