you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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