haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
