I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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