you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize