what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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