so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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