My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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