i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So vagazzling was a success
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
