I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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