your thong is hanging out like whoa
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
