I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
