Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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