okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
