help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
