i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
