Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Randomize
