Just fell off a train. Bad.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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