You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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