i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They have beer where we have blood.
Terrible idea I love it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
