I will die if light touches me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
