My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
vagina is talking i cant
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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