dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
