the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
