Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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