I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
