Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
