I hate all girls vehemently.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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