I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize