So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
that is very illegal...i love you.
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