dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize