i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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