do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
