By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
