I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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