I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just gargled with NyQuil
Damn victory sex feels great
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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