Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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