What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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