1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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