I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
