I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
