Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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