I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
