Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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