The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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