i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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