i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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