Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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