If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize