You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
