Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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