I wanna passion pit in your ass
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
