so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
