if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there's paper in my vomit.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
