the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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